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What Just Happened?
As I watched Donald Trump’s acceptance speech last night at the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee, I couldn’t stop thinking about a quote from, of all people, George W. Bush.
In 2017, Bush attended Trump’s inauguration, and at the conclusion of the president’s infamous “American Carnage” inaugural address, he said: “That was some weird shit.”
That’s a pretty good characterization of Trump’s speech last night.
I would try to summarize what Trump said, but honestly, I’m not sure how. My tweets from last night, a real-time response to what was happening, are probably the best analysis I can offer.
I wrote a book about campaign speechwriting. I’ve read every acceptance speech delivered at a national convention. This is hands down the worst I’ve heard and it’s not remotely close.
This is 1000 times worse than Biden’s debate performance
This speech is a pathetic, incoherent mess from a man who is clearly diminished and every journalist who criticized Biden’s debate performance needs to say that
This is the most “Sir This Is A Wendy’s” speech ever delivered
The only response to this speech should be an intervention
This speech is a dumpster fire, perched on a tire fire floating in a sea of shit
I honestly feel like I’m having an out of body experience watching this speech.
Text I just received from a doctor friend “People have knee replacement surgery and have less of a bandage than Trump.”
The absolutely craziest thing about this speech is that nearly half the electorate still plans on voting for this lunatic.
I’ve been listening to CNN’s post-speech analysis and somehow not one person has said “that was fucking nuts”
And then this morning:
Just woke up … is Trump still speaking?
So, I guess what I’m saying here is that Trump’s speech was … not great.
Some analysts have praised the opening of Trump’s remarks in which he described, in exacting detail, the assassination attempt on Saturday afternoon in Butler, PA.
No.
It was super creepy, super weird, and was punctuated by this WTF moment — Trump kissing a firefighter helmet that was meant to represent the man killed at Trump’s rally on Saturday.
But then things truly went off the rails (by the way, all of this happened AFTER Hulk Hogan spoke and Kid Rock “performed” one of his unlistenable white boy raps … oh, and for some insane reason, the man who introduced Trump was Dana White, the president of Ultimate Fighting Championship, a mixed-martial arts league).
The rest of Trump’s speech, which is best described as an incoherent and discursive vomiting of words and phrases that had little to no connection with reality, is hands down the worst convention acceptance address and quite possibly the worst political speech I’ve ever heard.
In the run-up to Thursday’s address, some particularly credulous political journalists reported that Trump had experienced an existential change since almost being assassinated last weekend. Not so much. Trump’s address was remarkably similar to the unhinged addresses he usually delivers on the campaign trail.
While I generally think acceptance speeches don’t matter all that much, this feels like a bit of a missed opportunity. Right now, Trump is leading in the polls. Biden is getting hammered by members of his own party in a desperate effort to get him to leave the ticket. If Trump had delivered a mildly coherent address that touched on a few unifying themes and kept the usual vitriol on the cutting room floor, would it have helped his campaign?
Perhaps a little. At the very least, it might have made it a bit harder for Democrats to convince on-the-fence voters that the new Trump is the same as the old Trump. People love a redemption story, and maybe some particularly gullible Americans would have bought the argument that Trump had turned over a new leaf.
Instead, last night reminded Americans a) why they don’t like Trump and b) that he’s manifestly unfit to be president of the United States.
Since Trump’s speech was so bad — and when you take into account the intense partisan polarization in the country — I don’t expect him to get much of a bounce from the GOP convention.
Honestly, it’s starting to feel like no one wants to win this election.
More To Read
Since I’m traveling today, I’ll rely on some smart analysis from my fellow Substack writers.
Will He Or Won’t He?
We’re still waiting for Hamlet of Rehoboth to decide whether to continue in the presidential race. President Biden’s spokespersons suggest he’s in the race for the long haul, but other press leaks hint he’s considering an exit strategy.
I’m sympathetic to Biden’s plight — up to a point. It’s tough for Biden to walk away from the presidency, and I have no doubt that he wants to serve another term (and frankly, I would like to see him remain president).
But Biden is the Democratic Party leader, and he won’t/can’t be effective at the head of the ticket if those below him don’t believe he can win. And right now, they clearly have no confidence in him — which is also true of most Democratic voters.
He had a chance to reassure Democrats after a disastrous debate performance, and, quite simply, he didn’t. Biden-stans can argue that Dems are having a freakout and should have just rallied behind him … and they have a point. Indeed, there’s no better example of the differences between Democrats and Republicans than the fact that after Trump’s far worse performance last night, not one prominent Republican is calling on him to leave the ticket. Meanwhile, another handful of Democrats called on Biden to withdraw today.
All this might seem completely unfair to Biden, and maybe Democrats are wrong to think that another nominee is the better option for the party. But none of these woulda, coulda, shoulda matter. I’ve said it before (and I’ll say it again): There’s no place for sentimentality in this business. If you lose your party, the path forward is clear.
Musical Interlude
On Wednesday, I saw the new Brian Eno documentary, so how about a bunch of Brian-Eno-related songs?
“Meet the old boss…same as the old boss.” I commented a few days ago in response to someone else’s column that despite DT’s promise to deliver a completely different type of speech, that I doubted he’d change his spots. Guess I wasn’t wrong.
And no one else will be an effective candidate when half of Democrats want him to stay and lead the ticket and that half is mostly the people who do the work, women, especially Black women, while it's mostly white men and nameless 'insiders" (and awful people like James Carville) who want him to drop out. He drops out; we lose, period. I don't see the media piling on Trump's speech and urging HIM to drop out, which is a pretty good sign this entire assault on Biden is media generated. Until they point our how unfit Trump is to serve and how many signs of HIS "cognitive decline" there are, I'm sticking with my media vendetta theory.