The Donald Trump F**k Up Watch

Donald Trump is already doing dumb things and the crack staff at Truth and Consequences is On It! Also, an f'ing great Musical Interlude.

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In 1992, the New Republic created a weekly item called the “Bill Clinton Suck-Up Watch,” which focused on reporters who were too generous to the Democratic presidential nominee and, later, the new president. Three decades later, I’m launching my new spin on this old feature — the Donald Trump F**k Up Watch. My basic theory of the next few years of American politics is that a) Donald Trump will f**k up, b) it will spark a political backlash, and c) Democrats will reap the political benefits. It’s too soon to test out “b” and “c,” but as for “a,” I can certainly chronicle all the ways that our new, dumb president will overreach — and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

To be sure, I figured it might take a few weeks to get started, but no such luck! The Overreach has begun!

WTF?

President-elect Donald J. Trump has picked Pete Hegseth, a Fox News host and veteran of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, to lead the Pentagon and the 1.3 million active-duty men and women of the American military.

Wait, This Is A Joke, Right?

President-elect Donald J. Trump on Wednesday chose Tulsi Gabbard, a former Democratic congresswoman who became one of his most enthusiastic backers, to serve as the director of national intelligence.

GET THE FUCK OUT!

President-elect Donald J. Trump continued his flurry of personnel announcements by making his most surprising decision yet, saying on Wednesday that he would nominate Representative Matt Gaetz of Florida to be his attorney general, putting one of his fiercest defenders in line to be the country’s top law enforcement official.

Trump’s Cabinet selections so far remind me of a ski jumper who starts off ok … and then crashes into a heap of shattered bones at the bottom of the ramp.

You know, kind of like this.

Marco Rubio for State, Elise Stefanik at the UN, Lee Zeldin, head of the EPA, and Mike Waltz as national security advisor … These are the kind of picks you’d expect from a Republican president.

But Hegseth, Gabbard, and Gaetz are dumpster fires.

Hegseth is nominated to run the nation’s largest bureaucratic institution despite having no managerial experience. Moreover, he’s previously advocated for pardons on behalf of soldiers who have committed war crimes, accused the military of being too woke, and spoken disparagingly of women serving in combat. So before he starts the job, he’ll have pissed off his largest and most crucial internal constituency — the uniformed military.

Gabbard is a conspiracy theorist, a supporter of Vladimir Putin and Bashir Assad, and she has no qualifications to be director of National Intelligence.

As for Gaetz, where to begin?

He’s been investigated for sex trafficking, and he might be the most hated man on Capitol Hill. Seriously, check out the reaction from members of Congress to his nomination.

Fresh off of losing his decades-long dream to be GOP Senate leader, Sen. John Cornyn was visibly shocked when reporters told him the news. One reporter said Cornyn learned about the nomination and delivered an “audible snort.” Another reporter said a shocked look flashed across Cornyn’s face, “like he tasted something strange.”

Democratic Sen. Richard Blumenthal — who was a rumored AG pick for a Kamala Harris administration — was truly stunned.

“I’m having trouble believing it,” he said.

Rep. Maxwell Frost, a Democrat from Florida, texted NOTUS his reaction.

“The guy with a current House Ethics probe on sexual misconduct?” Frost said of Gaetz. “What the fuck!”

And Democratic Sen. Chris Coons said he was “literally speechless.”

But perhaps the most disturbed lawmakers were Gaetz’s fellow House Republicans.

“Are you shitting me?” an incredulous Rep. Mike Simpson said when reporters informed him about the cabinet pick.

“I’m still trying to digest it,” Rep. Michael McCaul told NOTUS.

One House Republican — a former Trump official — was visibly excited by the nomination, but not because he thought Gaetz was a strong pick; he thought Gaetz would either make a fool of himself or no longer be his colleague in the House.

“He’ll never get confirmed, it’s the greatest day,” Rep. Max Miller said. “It’s the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

Whether all three of these nominees will make it through the Republican-controlled Senate is an open question.