I’m Michael A. Cohen, and this is Truth and Consequences: A no-holds-barred look at the absurdities, hypocrisies, and surreality of American politics. If you were sent this email - or you are a free subscriber - and you’d like to subscribe: you can sign up here.
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A quick housekeeping note for new (and old) Truth and Consequences subscribers. Usually, this newsletter is focused on politics, foreign policy, and social and cultural issues. But it’s been a long couple of weeks; we’ve all been obsessively focused on politics and the midterm elections … and every once in a while, we need to see a few dog pictures.
Earlier this week, Michael Gerson, the former George W. Bush speechwriter and Washington Post columnist passed away after a long fight with cancer. I read Gerson’s columns intermittently, but one from earlier this summer stuck with me — he talked about the joy of becoming a dog owner late in life. It was a lovely and heartfelt piece and reminded me of the many tributes I’ve read over the years to departed pets. It struck me that it’s also important to acknowledge our furry friends when they are still alive — and still bringing us and those around us so much joy.
Today, I’m going to do just that.
Every dog owner thinks their dog is the best in the world. I respect people’s affection for their pets, but only one dog can be the GOAT … and it is Baxter (or Baxter Cohen, as they call him at the local dog boarding facility).
Baxter is a sweetheart. He loves people more than I love fried chicken sandwiches (and I really love fried chicken sandwiches).
This is Baxter with my youngest. The look of serenity on his face says everything. Humans make him feel safe and loved. And he responds in kind by giving them the limitless, unconditional affection that only dogs can provide.
He’s always been like this. The picture below is from the day we got him. Baxter felt at home and loved from the moment he entered our lives — and here he is doing what he does best: spreading joy.
But as much as my kids and I love Baxter (and, my god, do we love the hell out of him), so do the people who live in our community. I always joke that he could be elected the mayor of our neighborhood. In 2020, my youngest said that if he ran, he could use the slogan “Make Peanut Butter Great Again.”
When I walk Baxter around the neighborhood, people instinctually stop and say hello. To those who know Baxter, it’s like a reunion of sorts. They come running, and so does Baxter.
A man in my neighborhood lives down the block from me, and he absolutely loves Baxter. Whenever he sees him, his face lights up, and he extends out his arms to welcome Baxter for a loving embrace.
A couple of months ago, I was moving my car with Baxter in the front seat (he loves the front seat even if someone else is sitting there).
Case in point (this is my mother):
She spent five hours with Baxter perched on her lap.
Back to my neighbor. Baxter was in the front seat of the car, and as I was stopped at a red light, he spotted my neighbor walking across the street. His head perked up. His stare was unbroken, like a wild animal in the Serengetti watching his dinner stride by on all fours. He began following him across the crosswalk. As he got to our side of the street, Baxter leaped on my lap, stuck his snout out the open driver’s side window, and demanded some attention, which, of course, he received.
My neighbor’s name is Tony, though I didn’t know that for the first year or so that he and Baxter developed their love affair. I just knew him as the guy who adored Baxter. When the pandemic began, I still walked Baxter, but rarely did I run into friends and neighbors, including Tony. After a few weeks, I began to worry about him. Had he gotten sick from COVID? I’d often walk by his house and peer in the window, but I never saw him.
Then one day in June, I was walking Baxter, and I heard that booming voice, “Baxter!!” It was Tony. After a long bout with COVID, from which he thankfully recovered, their love affair was rekindled.
The Presentation
As I mentioned above, Baxter truly loves people and has a tried and true method of introducing himself to them. First, he walks up and does the sniff test. Next, he checks out their feet and ankles, then the crotch. If they meet his petting criteria (which they often do unless a piece of food on the street distracts him), he will sit down and let them pet his head. Usually, he will tilt his back and look them in the face as if to say, “you’re doing great. Keep it up.”
It looks a bit like this.
The next step for Baxter is what I call “the presentation of the ass.” He’ll take a few steps forward, sit down and present his backside for petting. If it goes well, there will be more backward head tilting.
Then comes the coup de grace. So overwhelmed with affection and unconcerned about his obvious vulnerability (both physical and emotional), Baxter will, in effect, fall over and present his body for his most sought-after affection goal: the tummy rub.
This is how a typical Baxter interaction unfolds.
Seeking and Receiving
Since Baxter is a dog, he has few hobbies or responsibilities (though he takes very seriously his obligation to protect the domicile from unwanted intruders, window washers, and anyone who makes a sound in our hallway). But Baxter has a singular objective — to get his daily allotment of dog treats from local businesses.
His first stop in the morning is the aforementioned sandwich shop. A couple of months ago, one of the employees gave him some bacon as a treat. An addiction was born. Now every morning, he sprints into the shop, heads to the kitchen in the back of the state, and obediently sits, waiting to be fed. It’s pretty much the only time he is well-behaved. His next stop is the used record store/coffee shop. He jumps up on the counter, and even the cynical hipsters can’t resist his pleadings. He unfailingly receives a dog biscuit. Then we’re off to a local gift store where the owner not only gives Baxter a delicious treat but has also taught him a few tricks, like giving his paw before getting fed.
Then we head home, where his final treat is waiting — a few biscuits from the doorman.
By the time we have finished our morning sojourn, Baxter is exhausted. He laps water from his bowl and gingerly climbs on the couch for a well-earned nap.
The Joy
Every dog owner can wax poetic about the happiness that their pet brings them. They are part of the family, and it’s why we devote so much of our lives to them. In my family, nearly every morning, we have what we call the “Baxter Cuddlefest.” He jumps up on the bed, lays back with his legs in the air and stomach prominent displayed, silently announcing to the world, “you may now shower me with love and tummy rubs.”
But what makes Baxter unique is the joy he brings to others.
Sometimes people will pet him for several minutes. They can’t get enough. Those are the people who spot Baxter from down the block, and their visage immediately changes from one of seriousness to one of overwhelmed by adorableness. If I’m ever stranded on a desert island, they are the people I want with me … they have good hearts.
Other times it will only be 20-30 seconds of a stray pet. But even in that fleeting moment, Baxter creates a tiny bit of joy in their day. As Gerson said about his dog Jack, he “is a living, yipping, randomly peeing antidepressant. He improves the mental health of all who encounter him.” Baxter is a daily pick-me-up to those who cross paths with him. Everywhere he goes, he spreads love and contentment. The true joy in calling Baxter my roommate is not that he gives my family so much delight: it’s that he makes the world a better and happier place, one head stroke, one tushie pat, and one tummy rub at a time.
Not many can resist a pup sprawled on their back waiting for a tummy rub. Maybe it says a little something about humanity and our bond with animals that in the last 150 years only one President did not have a pet in the White House - I guess we know who.
I thoroughly enjoyed this article, Michael, as I have many of your political commentaries since discovering you several months ago on this page. I especially liked “randomly peeing anti-depressant”! Now I am ready to subscribe!!